ok here goes nothing..

the promos are finally over and i'm able to blog again.. not that anything was holding me back in the first place, that would have to be my laziness.. o well, just as well that the promos are over so i don't need to see her suffer anymore.. it was really heartbreaking to see someone you care so much for hurt herself and knowing that you could not do anything about it since you were a by-stander and did not get to be in contact with her.. i felt so helpless knowing that i could not do anything to help..

and also, another friend told me that she cried over pw, this really made me rather upset since i feel that pw is just something that we have to do in jc1 and just do it well without worrying unduly over it.. and once again, she was hurt and i didn't even know it until much later.. but then again, she has her own way of doing things and i do not wish to tell her something which she's likely to not listen to..

basically i care too much for her that it hurts. even now she's nursing a cough (relapse due to eating of mcspicy) i wish that she would be able to understand my point of view but like she said, we have no chemistry and yet i still can't let go of the fact that she sees me as a friend and nothing else.. but i feel that love doesn't have to be reciprocated (returned in kind). one can love a person to the ends of the earth but the other person does not have to like the person in the same way..love to me is also caring for the person..which leads to the above phenomena..in fact love to me is also many other things but some of these i am unable to express in words.. actions are more convincing then words.. but for now, there's a final wish that i'd like to be fufilled before i can give up.. but the fufillment of this wish would have to wait..

till then, i'll be your guardian angel.. looking out for you
even if u make enemies with the whole world, i'll protect you till the end..