gazing out my window, i guess that its now up to me.. to put a stop to this nonsense and clean the mess which i started myself.. no more relying on others. this is something i got to do on my own. the longer i delay it the more it is going to screw up. wow i created a self perpetuating mess.. i guess the only way to go now is to see what happens when i finally find the time to do it.. over the phone or face-to-face although chances are that i would not set my eyes on her even if i were to talk. hopefully it'll clear up this mess. i don't think i'll be forgiven.. after all its not gentlemenly to act like a jerk towards women.. can't blame her now can i?

in any case, if she's angry/irritated at me, she sure does not show it or is at the least willing to talk about it.. at least that's what my friend has told me..which brings me back to the point.. i think there could have been a mix-up of communications frequencies just now when i accidentally called morgan even though the call was meant for benson. maybe his iphone intercepted the call and it never got to benson. so my deduction tells me that it was benson who sent the message.. anyway, will talk to him about that tmr.

my mood does seem to have been spoilt by this small incident. should i look for the person who caused it and just go sadist mode on him? no one knows how sadistic i can get and there is a good reason for it. i personally don't like to do it but then again, i could get back at whoever is causing this and derive pleasure from causing him pain.. hahahaha.. better stop with the evil laughter/thoughts.. thank goodness for music which keeps me on the bright side..

tmr's just another day.. of sadness and misery..
must humans continue harming each other?
haven't we learnt our lesson?
fighting only creates hatred and misery..
put a stop to the fighting now!