i know i just blogged yesterday but i couldn't talk about all the things that i wanted to since i was pretty tired after the week was over. the college celebrated national day today with a walk from college all the way to ccab. when we got there, it was pretty boring since my class was sitting at one corner of the multi-purpose hall and was left out for most of the proceedings. this shows the lack of planning and consideration by the people who planned the event in not taking into account the people who will be left out due to the activities which happened in the main part of the hall. in fact i feel that the whole event would have been much better if the college just celebrated the day in the college itself. anyway, after the event at ccab, our class went to golden rooster at coronation to have our lunch.. decided not to eat with them due to the fact that i wanted some time alone to gain inspiration for the poem i'm currently working on. can't seem to continue after the first four stanzas. this problem could also have been due to the fact that i have feelings for the person. i have to admit that these feelings are not mature enough yet though. this was very evident as i got quite jealous of someone who was to me, continually trying to get close to her even though it is rather obvious that he already is seeing someone else. (i hate two-timers) but in the event that he was still single then i guess i would also have been jealous anyway. this goes to show that my feelings for her are not as mature as i hope.

on the same topic of my feelings, i have no idea what's wrong with my head right now that i have feelings for two people. as such i have decided to give myself some time till after the a levels to come up with a solution for this. i don't think that it'll be distracting to my a levels but one has to be careful especially when i'm rather vulnerable to attacks on my heart. one of them especially is a rather good friend of mine and i really don't wish to sour the relationship which we currently have, although it is rather obvious to me that my rather.. awkward actions seem to be pushing it to that end. to that extent, i think i better lay low for the next couple of weeks leading up to the prelims.

back to work on the poems...