one year on... lessons learnt

time sure passes fast, it's been one year since i enlisted and there's only one year left. am i supposed to be happy? logically speaking i guess so. but to speak the truth, i have no idea of what lies beyond the remaining one year that i have. that has me somewhat worried and scared at the same time. went over to a friend's place for karaoke last night and left there this morning. the bus ride home gave me a moment of quiet and respite from the stressful job that i've become so accustomed to doing for the past one year. other than hanging out with my camp mates, i hardly go out with my friends from either secondary school or from jc, with the exception being earlier this month when i went out with a secondary school friend before he enlisted and on the weekend of his first bookout. other than that, my parents are going to be back in singapore for the chinese new year so i get to enjoy drinking coffee and eating other sweet pastries and stuff to keep myself somewhat happy.

i guess i've learnt quite a few lessons in this one year in the armed forces. i guess one can never trust another person too much since you won't know when the person will drive a knife through your heart, especially when the person may look like a very nice person on the surface. if you don't trust anyone too much then you won't be at risk of being betrayed and won't be shocked when it finally happens. i've also learnt that love doesn't exist in real life. as such i shouldn't be feeling the way i do towards the whole lot of them should i? forgive but not forget is my way in which i live my life i guess. i will never allow myself to be made a fool by others anymore. the idiotic things which i have done are going to be part of the past as i set my plans into motion for preparation towards uni. i'm going to completely change myself, from the way i behave and interact with others and even the way i look, both of which i hate of myself. as such i am willing to remove the scars of my past both literally and figuratively. beginning with how i'm going to totally detach myself from the people i used to think i cannot live without. my former class.

then again, class is but a group of individuals placed in the same place to study but not much else for after the class leaves the school, they are what they are, a group of individuals not bound by anything other than the fact that they studied in the same place for a couple of years. i don't feel any attachement to the class anymore ever since we graduated and therefore when they say "class gathering" nowadays, i am very skeptical as to the meaning of the term, for it never means everyone in the class, but rather a very small group of people from the class. in any case, i have decided to distance myself from the so called class other than the exception of a select few who have been my closest friends.

the music has since stopped,

the players have since left the stage.

now's the time for a new character to step in..